I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
