i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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