At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
