You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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