Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Christians are straight up FREAKS
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize