You smell like stripper and shame
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
