hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
well you can't waste a boner
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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