Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
50% drunk capacity currently
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Randomize
