Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize