My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
