did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
