By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
