a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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