Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize