What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize