wanna go halves on a baby?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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