Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
