She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
