Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
