I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
