I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
