spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
