I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
