is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
not ubering you a puppy
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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