So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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