I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
