why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
