Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
