I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
