grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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