I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
