Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
