no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
