I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
