You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
