I feel great
I just peed on a car
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
