D3 body, D1 cock
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize