i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
