I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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