My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Help. Why am I so naked?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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