Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
