What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
