It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
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