Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
