I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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