went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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