she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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