too bad you live with your parents still
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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