I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
