Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
