Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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