He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
