someone threw a dead crab at me
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
