how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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