So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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