I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
