Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
