So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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