My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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