i don't like sucking hair
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
