The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
