You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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