hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
