yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
