We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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