I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
