She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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