what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
