Kiss
Puke
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
