My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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