i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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