Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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