so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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